A Gay By Any Other Name

A Gay By Any Other Name

A Gay By Any Other Name 397 293

The hateful and discriminatory anti-LGBT legislation known as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill recently passed and likely to be signed into law in Florida has ignited a firestorm of backlash across the country (along with a chorus of support from its supporters). The “rationale” seems to be that if we deny the fact of the existence of the LGBTQ+ community in schools, kids won’t become gay, which is ludicrous, of course, but also potentially dangerous, as this brilliant op-ed by Will Larkins, reproduced below, demonstrates. Will is a junior at Winter Park High School in Winter Park, FL, and as a gay teenager, he has experienced firsthand the trauma that so many LGBTQ+ youth endure on the journey to self acceptance. “As I learned about the history and culture of my community,” he writes, “I grew to understand and love myself. Education made me hate myself less.”

This bill just represents bigots sticking their heads in the sand. They seek to erase us linguistically, but whether we say “Gay” or not, the LGBTQ+ community is here to stay. Here to slay, even! A Gay by another name is just as fabulous, and pretending we don’t exist will only make life more torturous for LGBTQ+ youth. The stated goal of the “Parental Rights in Education” bill is to protect young people, but in fact, it will end up doing the exact opposite. Its supporters know that. The cruelty is the point. But thankfully, young people like Will Larkins are resilient. They have had to fight for their right to exist, and will continue to do so, and we at the Leonard Litz LGBTQ+ Foundation will continue to stand by their side. When we fight together, we win together.


Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” Bill Will Hurt Teens Like Me

By Will Larkins

Last October, I attended a high school Halloween party. A group of guys from my school surrounded me and shouted homophobic slurs. One even threatened me with physical violence. When I broke down crying in class the next day, my teacher comforted me. She told me that she had gone through something similar when she was my age.

On Tuesday, the Florida Senate approved the Parental Rights in Education bill, also known as the Don’t Say Gay bill. The bill, which Gov. Ron DeSantis has said he will sign, seeks to ban public schools in the state from teaching about sexual orientation or gender identity from kindergarten through the third grade, or through the 12th grade in a manner deemed “age-inappropriate” by parents. Had the proposed law been in effect last year, my teacher could have put herself in jeopardy by being there for me.

From an early age I knew I was different. I wasn’t interested in the things other boys my age did, and I didn’t really feel comfortable in the clothes my parents bought me. The struggle for acceptance was not just internal, it also felt as if my classmates didn’t know what to make of me. By fourth grade I was convinced that I was broken. I didn’t know how to defend myself when other kids made hateful comments or bullied me—I didn’t know why I was the way that I was. Without the vocabulary to articulate why I felt and acted like this, I assumed what they said about me was true. For most of the kids in my grade, I was the only kid like me they knew.

My life changed the summer before seventh grade. A girl at an arts summer camp turned to me on the first day and asked, “Are you L.G.B.T.Q.?” She explained what each letter meant and showed me pictures of RuPaul on her phone. It felt as if a weight had been taken off my shoulders. The realization that I wasn’t the only one saved my life. I remember stepping away and calling my best friend at the time: “Max, I think I am gay.”

When I came home from camp, I became fascinated with learning more about queer culture. I read about Georgia Black, a Black trans woman who lived close to where I do now in the early 1900s, and I learned that in pre-Colonial times, more than 150 Indigenous tribes acknowledged third genders in their community and three to five gender roles: female, male, Two Spirit female, Two Spirit male and transgender. I realized how common the experience of falling outside of the gender binary was. As I learned about the history and culture of my community, I grew to understand and love myself. Education made me hate myself less.

I have come to realize that those who have been so openly hateful toward me often knew little about the queer community—they thought being L.G.B.T.Q. was a conscious choice. Education didn’t just give me a sense of self worth but also the knowledge of a community and lifeline there for countless young people.

L.G.B.T.Q. teenagers are four times as likely to attempt suicide as their straight counterparts. According to the Trevor Project, a crisis intervention and suicide prevention organization for young gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and queer people, teenagers who learned about L.G.B.T.Q. issues or people in school were 23 percent less likely to attempt suicide. We have a mental health crisis in the queer community, and Governor DeSantis and the Republican Party want to outlaw the solution.

I am lucky to have supportive parents, but I am in the minority among my peers. Research has shown that L.G.B.T.Q. teenagers have a higher risk of experiencing some form of homelessness, with family conflict being the primary cause. Many of my close friends have been thrown out of their homes after coming out to their parents or being outed by others. One of my best friends even stayed with my family for three weeks after he was kicked out of his home because his parents refused to accept that he was trans. Other friends have told me disturbing stories of being physically abused or worse because they strayed from traditional gender norms.

On Feb. 28, I spoke out against the bill on the Florida Senate floor, and on Monday my friend Maddi Zornek and I led a walkout of more than 500 students at our high school. Republican lawmakers have been echoing the idea that parents know what is best for their kids, not the schools. In some cases that may be true. But parents aren’t trained professionals; unlike schools, they aren’t made to follow a set of standards. For many of my friends in dangerous situations because of their sexuality or gender identity, school has been a space where they could be themselves.

Now, under threat of lawsuits, districts, schools and teachers may be hesitant to talk at all with students about gender identity and sexuality, even if the conversation is “age-appropriate.” The bill also allows the state commissioner of education to establish a “special magistrate” so that prosecuting those in violation of the law would happen much faster than in a normal court.

When I look back to elementary school, I wonder how different my childhood would have been had my classmates and I known that I wasn’t some tragic anomaly, a strange fluke that needed to be fixed. People in support of the bill always ask, “Why do these subjects need to be taught in schools?” To them I would say that if we understand ourselves, and those around us understand us, so many lives will be saved.